Like a small amount of water sloshing in a hollow barrel so is the yearning soul at the end of a non-victorious day. Each day starts new and bright and is filled with potential. The potential for accomplishing tasks and for personal growth dangles each dawn like grapes on a vine waiting to be picked. Yet from the moment you awake, you are faced with a choice. How will you begin? Should you rush into the needs and activities of the day or should you immediately retreat into God through the prayer and meditation. The former will easily oblige your choice and fill your day with momentary purpose. The latter can transform your course. This choice will change you and hence reshape your focus for the day. Sleep has refreshed your body and now the spirit needs refreshing. The former may allow you to start accomplishing needed tasks right away but the latter will give you true meaning in what you do even if in the end it accomplishes less. The former often ends in defeat and the latter can lead us to victory. None of this is to imply that you cannot start out your day wrong and midstream turn it around, but strong discipline is a matter of consistency and not a crisis response.
So this day ends for me, a day of activity. Soon after waking up, I rushed into activities until finally this evening the reality hit me. For all of the tasks I have completed, I have not grown. My barrel is not filled (not even half way). My soul is not aflame with passion for my God. Rather I am tired. My soul feels empty. My soul yearns for what it has missed out on all day. I yearn for the spiritual life that is found in God. This day was not victorious. Yet it is not without value. Besides the many busy tasks I did accomplish, I learn from what reminds me. The yearning I feel at this moment teaches me to choose a better start tomorrow.
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